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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23891287">Heartless</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angy98/pseuds/Angy98'>Angy98</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, gabenath</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:08:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>673</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23891287</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angy98/pseuds/Angy98</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Extract: <br/>"That’s what people think of me, right?<br/>I can see their stares, some times even hear them whisper. They say that I’m heartless, just because I learned that most of the time showing your true emotions makes you look unprofessional. Because I obey my boss’ orders no matter how strict they may sound.<br/>Or maybe because suppressing my emotions is the only way for me to survive the complete madness I’ve been living in for the past year."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/Nathalie Sancoeur</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Heartless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My name is Nathalie Sancoeur, and I’ve always been made fun of, in school, because of it. </p><p>Sancoeur, <i>“heartless”</i>. </p><p>
  <i>“Heartless Nathalie can’t make friends because she’s a cold Miss-know-it-all.”<br/>
“She doesn’t have a date for the dance cause nobody can break their way in her ice-cold heart.<br/>
If she even has one.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Even now, after all those years.</i>
</p><p>That’s what people think of me, right?<br/>
I can see their stares, some times even hear them whisper. They say that I’m <i>heartless</i>, just because I learned that most of the time showing your true emotions makes you look unprofessional. Because I obey my boss’ orders no matter how strict they may sound.<br/>
Or maybe because suppressing my emotions is the only way for me to survive the complete madness I’ve been living in for the past year. </p><p>No matter what people say, I do have a heart.<br/>
I feel it pound in my chest whenever Gabriel looks at me, and flutter in anticipation when Hawkmoth announces he needs me for his plans.<br/>
I can feel it break when Adrien turns to me pleading me to let him stay out with his friends for a little longer and I have to say no, and every single time I hear Gabriel pronounce Emilie’s name. </p><p>But, of course, people cannot know.<br/>
No one can never actually tell if the person in front of them is being torn apart by their own secrets, or actions, or feelings, or all of the above combined. </p><p>The only one that seems to know is the holder of the Butterfly miraculous. It’s the exact function of the jewel, to let you read other people’s true emotions and desires like an open book. That’s why Gabriel always knows when and where to hit. </p><p>Yet, even <i>he</i> can be oblivious, at times. </p><p>One time, me and Hawkmoth were working together in his lair. He had found another promising victim for his Akuma, but he felt he also needed Mayura to increase the chances of success.<br/>
I was waiting for my turn to speak, my folding fan opened in front of me. But as Hawkmoth started communicating with that young girl, her case made me hold my breath for a second. The girl was broken-hearted, suffering from unrequited love.<br/>
I remember taking a deep shaky breath, and Gabriel must have thought that I was once again ill due to the miraculous, because he turned to me asking if I was fine. </p><p>I’m an infamous <i>heartless</i> super-villain, as if at times Mayura doesn’t stare back at me from the reflection in the mirror, as wide-eyed as I am, suddenly scared of the things she’s done. The things <i>I</i> have done.<br/>
Trespassing, theft, purposefully hurting other people. All of this done by a woman raised by her parents to be kind and respectful.<br/>
As if the person I’ve become doesn’t haunt my dreams, every now and then.</p><p><i>Heartless</i>, as if I’ve never cried over the fact that the man I love only wants to bring his dead wife back to life. </p><p><i>Heartless</i>, as if I didn’t love him with my whole soul, so much that if bringing Emilie back is really what he desires... Then I will use all of my energies to make it happen. I’d much rather losing my chance but know that he’s truly happy, than keep seeing him so desperate. </p><p>As if there wasn’t a part of me that would never want us to win. What will I do when Emilie will wake up? Will I manage to swallow down my feelings, standing there watching as she goes back to swirl happily around her husband as she used to do? Or will I eventually lose it, and have to leave the house? Would Emilie still want me to work there at all?<br/>
I would lose Adrien, and – </p><p>Enough, Nathalie!<br/>
Everything will go as it has to.<br/>
I just have to... *<strong>cough</strong>* breathe in.<br/>
*<strong>cough</strong>*</p><p>I have work to do and Amoks to use.<br/>
Impassive, like the heartless woman I have to look like.</p>
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